Buffy and Spike's Relationship History

Buffy and Spike's relationship has been complicated pretty much since he first appeared in the series at the beginning of Season 2. It quickly became apparent that Spike had a specific interest in killing Buffy, unlike the other vampires who only cared if she interfered with their nefarious plans. Spike had been obsessed with Slayers for most of his time as a vampire. He and Buffy fought repeatedly, but neither ever succeeded in killing the other.

In one of their most heated battles, Buffy caused Spike's greatest humiliation since becoming a vampire: the serious injury that left him helpless and wheelchair-bound for months on end. Though Spike's injury resulted from his efforts to return Drusilla to health (by attempting to kill Angel), Spike found himself thanklessly and jealously watching his beloved Dru succumb to the now-evil Angel's wicked charms.

In the end, Spike's intense jealousy motivated him to approach Buffy with a proposal that they team up together to defeat Angel's plan to destroy the world (by awakening the demon Acathla). Buffy initially dismissed him out-of-hand, but Spike persuaded her that he was both serious in his offer and necessary to her cause ... and they joined forces at the end of Season 2 in a temporary, uneasy alliance, which ended with Spike's departing Sunnydale with Drusilla.

Though Spike reappeared once in Season 3, he did not truly become a regular force in the Buffyverse again until Season 4, when he returned (without Dru, who had left him because she could already detect his obsession with Buffy) in search of the Gem of Amara, which renders the vampire who wears it invulnerable. Spike found the Gem, but Buffy took it away from him, and soon afterward he was captured by the Initiative ... leading to a huge turning point for Spike: the installation of the chip.

The Initiative implanted a computer chip in Spike's brain which rendered him harmless to humans. If he attempts to physically harm a human in any way, the chip causes him intense neurological pain. When Spike escaped from the Initiative, he had nowhere to go and was somewhat confused and frightened ... ironically, he went to the Scoobies for help. This began a period of uneasy truce between Spike and Buffy, as he began reluctantly helping the Scoobs, usually for monetary gain. Though he would never admit it, I believe he was also seeking companionship.

It's unclear exactly when Spike fell in love with Buffy, but he consciously realized it near the beginning of Season 5, after he'd been working unevenly with the Scoobies for about a year (and some months after he and Buffy had been victims of a spell that caused them to believe themselves madly in love and happily engaged to be married). Appalled at his own emotions, Spike exerted intense effort toward ridding himself of this "unnatural" affection for the Slayer ... to no avail. Finally, Spike had to admit that he truly did love Buffy, whether he liked it or not. And he definitely did not like it.

Buffy liked it even less when she found out. She interpreted Spike's attentions as evidence that there must be something wrong with her that attracted him. Steadfastly refusing to acknowledge his feelings, since she insisted repeatedly that no one can love without a soul (based, I assume, on her experience with Angel ... though I always thought Angel still loved Buffy even without his soul ... it just pissed him off and got expressed as homicidal rage), Buffy began what would become a long-standing pattern of using Spike to her own advantage while simultaneously denigrating and debasing him.

Spike became increasingly desperate as his self-esteem was attacked again and again by the person he most cared for. When Drusilla -- his lover of more than a century -- returned to Sunnydale, offering him a route for returning to his old evil ways, Spike was sorely tempted. But instead of leaving with Drusilla, Spike took the opportunity to offer Buffy a rather twisted proof of his love ... he chained Buffy in his crypt and offered to kill Drusilla. He begged for even a crumb of hope that Buffy might someday feel something for him, but Buffy was more disgusted than intrigued, and Spike found himself even more rejected by Buffy and the rest of the Scoobies (even Dawn) after this escapade.

In hopeless despair, Spike had a computer nerd named Warren build him a Buffy-look-alike robot (the Buffybot), primarily for sexual purposes. But the Buffybot wasn't just a sex toy; she was also a means for Spike to try to reclaim some of the self-esteem which Buffy (and the chip) had eroded. Spike instructed the Buffybot to pretend to be Buffy herself, and programmed her to tell him several things:

• that he was still frightening (macho/manly/potent/powerful)
• that she wanted him
• that she (like he) had unsuccessfully tried to fight the attraction
• that she loved him

Ironically, it was during this exact same period of time that Glory (a very powerful hellgod) captured Spike and tortured him in an effort to learn the whereabouts of "the Key." Though Spike knew that Dawn was the Key, he withstood hours of excruciating torture at Glory's hands rather than reveal what he knew ... because he could not tolerate doing anything that would cause Buffy pain. Amazingly enough, Spike survived the torture, and -- even more surprising -- Buffy finally acknowledged one tiny bit of respect and gratitude toward him. She kissed him gently as a gesture of thanks.

This began a period of Buffy softening somewhat toward Spike. Spike stopped trying to persuade Buffy to love him and simply settled down into just trying to be close to her and help her, and Buffy simultaneously began to rely on Spike as a powerful ally against Glory. She repeatedly trusted him with her beloved sister's safety. By the end of Season 5, Spike and Buffy almost seemed like friends, though Spike's devotion was still ever clear for all to see.

During Season 6, Buffy and Spike's relationship became even more complex, as Buffy turned to Spike as the only person she felt truly comfortable with upon returning from death. They became increasingly emotionally close ... until eventually Buffy initiated a continuing, intense sexual relationship with Spike, while denying any emotional involvement because she "can't" love anyone who doesn't have a soul. Things deteriorated rapidly and their relationship became increasingly abusive on both sides, in different ways. Buffy insisted that Spike was incapable of being "good," that he was a "thing" and not a man ... and Spike in turn attempted to convince Buffy that she too was a creature of the dark.

In one of the two most disturbing (for me, anyway) scenes of Season 6 (in fact, of the entire series), Spike tried to convince Buffy not to turn herself in to the police for accidentally killing a woman. (She was not, incidentally, even guilty of the accidental crime.) While Spike tried to explain that he wanted only to protect Buffy, that he loved her, that she was a good person even if she made mistakes, that she was still a hero in his eyes, he also encouraged her to vent her grief and anger and frustration on him ... which Buffy did with appalling gusto. She brutally knocked Spike to the asphalt in an alley and proceeded to beat him almost as severely as Glory had done with her torture. And while battering him, Buffy also abused him verbally, shouting, "You don't have a soul! There is nothing good or clean in you! You are dead inside! You can't feel anything real!" When Spike was so badly injured that he could barely move and surely did not have the strength to stop her, Buffy simply walked away, leaving him in the open where the sunlight might kill him come morning. (Ep. 6.13, "Dead Things")

Not long afterward (Ep. 6.15, "As You Were"), Buffy's view of her relationship with Spike was colored by a visit from Riley Finn, her ex-boyfriend. Now happily married, Riley made Buffy feel even dirtier and more ashamed of what she had become ... and of Spike. She called an end to their affair, once and for all. Though she had frequently claimed not to want Spike anymore -- frequently claimed that she would never touch Spike again, etc. -- this time she meant it. The way she was treating Spike wasn't healthy for either of them, and it needed to stop. Spike shamelessly asked her to continue using him if it was the only way he could be close to her, but she refused. Spike -- who had finally, in Season 5 and early Season 6, become comfortable as Buffy's friend, only to have even that taken away by their furtive and abusive sexual relationship -- was heartbroken all over again.

Only days after Buffy had dumped him, Spike brought some random goth girl as his date to Xander and Anya's wedding (Ep. 6.16, "Hell's Bells"), purely to try to make Buffy jealous. Buffy admitted that it hurt ... but Spike found that hurting Buffy wasn't even a tiny bit as satisfying as he'd hoped. They had a rather sweet conversation in the hallway, and Spike decided to take his date and leave, rather than continue to cause Buffy pain on a happy occasion.

Well, it was supposed to be a happy occasion ... but Xander dumped Anya at the altar. Anya and Spike were both hurting pretty bad after their respective break-ups, and they got to talking (Ep. 6.18, "Entropy"), commiserating over their pain. And they got to drinking. And then ... well ... nature took its course. To use Anya's very apt term, they sought solace in each other's arms for an hour or so. But that's all it was ... because she still loved Xander and he still loved Buffy. They were just trying to forget and stop hurting for a little while. Unfortunately, Xander and Buffy caught the show on a secret camera stashed by villains, and both felt betrayed. Buffy prevented Xander from killing Spike, but all four people were hurting in the aftermath.

Spike, of course, turned to solitary drinking, his standard response to emotional trouble. After Dawn stopped by his crypt to berate him for hurting Buffy (by sleeping with Anya), Spike went to Buffy's house with the intention of apologizing. Unfortunately, things went horribly wrong, resulting in the other of the two most disturbing scenes of the season/series ... Spike nearly raped Buffy. During their discussion after Spike's apology, Buffy admitted that she cared about him, that she felt something for him, but insisted that it wasn't love. Spike became desperate for the connection he had felt when they had sex, and tried to persuade her. As Buffy had so often been coy -- saying "no" without meaning it -- in their past dysfunctional sexual relationship, Spike crossed the line without realizing it, lost control, and would have raped Buffy if she had not kicked him off of her and sent him crashing into the bathroom wall.

Horrified by what he had nearly done, Spike fled the house, leaving his precious leather duster behind. He paced frantically in his crypt, recalling Buffy's face as she fought him, as she screamed and cried and begged him not to hurt her. Spike felt two simultaneous emotions ... horror at what he had nearly done, and horror that he should feel horror/regret/guilt. In anguish, he ranted to Clem, "[T]he chip ... won't let me be a monster. And I can't be a man. I'm nothing." If Spike was truly what Buffy had claimed all along, he would have experienced no conflicting emotions. In his very pain, he proved her wrong. Even without a soul, he can feel ... he can love.

But Spike is ever willing to give Buffy what she needs, if it is in his power. In the last few episodes of the season, Spike endured trials and regained his soul ... in order to "give Buffy what she deserves." There's no telling where this will go in Season 7.