Buffy Quotes

BUFFY: (preparing to go to The Bronze, holds up outfit to mirror) Hi! I'm an enormous slut! (holds up a blue floral dress) Hello! Would you like a copy of 'The Watchtower'? (lowers the dress) I used to be so good at this.
JOYCE: Hi, hon.
BUFFY: Hey!
JOYCE: Are you, uh, going out tonight?
BUFFY: Yeah, I'm going to a club.
JOYCE: Oh. Will there be boys there?
BUFFY: No, Mom. It's a nun club. (Ep. 1.01, "Welcome to the Hellmouth")

WILLOW: Well, when I'm with a boy I like, it's hard for me to say anything cool, or, or witty, or at all. I-I can usually make a few vowel sounds, and then I have to go away.
BUFFY: It's not that bad!
WILLOW: No, i-it is. I think boys are more interested in a girl who can talk.
BUFFY: You really haven't been dating lately. (Ep. 1.01, "Welcome to the Hellmouth")

(to Angel) "Okay. Look, if you're gonna be popping up with this Cryptic Wise Man act on a regular basis, can you at least tell me your name?" (Ep. 1.02, "The Harvest")

BUFFY: You're my Xander-shaped friend! Do you have any idea why I love you so, Xander?
WILLOW: We gotta to get her to a...
XANDER: Let her speak!
BUFFY: I'll tell you! You're not like other boys at all.
XANDER: Well...
BUFFY: You are totally, and completely one of the girls! (to Willow) I'm that comfy with him.
XANDER: (sarcastic) That's great.
BUFFY: Any other guy who'd give me a bracelet, they'd ... wanna date me... (Ep. 1.03, "The Witch")

BUFFY: (notices a series of cuts on Angel's arm) What happened?
ANGEL: I didn't pay attention.
BUFFY: To somebody with a big fork?
ANGEL: He's coming.
BUFFY: The Fork Guy?
ANGEL: Don't let him corner you. Don't give him a moment's mercy. He'll rip your throat out.
BUFFY: Okay, I'll give you improved marks for that one. Ripping a throat out, it's a strong visual, it's not cryptic!
ANGEL: I have to go. (leaves)
BUFFY: (ironic) Sweet dreams to you, too.
. . .
GILES: That's all he said? 'Fork Guy'?
BUFFY: That's all Cryptic Guy said: Fork Guy.
GILES: I think there are too many 'guys' in your life. (Ep. 1.04, "Teacher's Pet")

BUFFY: Do you know Miss French, the teacher that's subbing for Dr. Gregory?
GILES: Yes. Yes, she's lovely. In a, a common, extremely well proportioned way.
BUFFY: Well, I'm chasing Claw Guy last night, and Miss Well Proportioned is heading home. The Claw Guy takes one look at her and runs screaming for cover.
GILES: He what? Ran away?
BUFFY: He was petrified.
GILES: Of Miss French?
BUFFY: Uh-huh! So I'm an undead monster that can shave with my hand... How many things am I afraid of?
GILES: Not many. And not substitute teachers, as a rule. (Ep. 1.04, "Teacher's Pet")

GILES: If your identity as the Slayer is revealed it could put you and all those around you in grave danger.
BUFFY: Well, in that case I won't wear my button that says, 'I'm a Slayer. Ask me how!' (Ep. 1.05, "Never Kill A Boy on the First Date")

BUFFY: Y'know, I'm the Chosen One ... it's my job to fight guys like that. What's your excuse?
ANGEL: Uh, somebody has to.
BUFFY: Well, what does your family think of your career choice?
ANGEL: They're dead.
BUFFY: Was it vampires?
ANGEL: I-it was.
BUFFY: I'm sorry.
ANGEL: It was a long while ago.
BUFFY: So, this is a vengeance gig for you.
ANGEL: You even look pretty when you go to sleep.
BUFFY: Well, when I wake up it's an entirely different story. (Ep. 1.07, "Angel")

BUFFY: (seeing Morgan and his dummy) Ewww, dummy!
XANDER: (sees a mime and jumps in his seat) Dyow! Mime!
WILLOW: I think dummies are cute. You don't?
BUFFY: Uuuhhh. They give me the wig. Ever since I was little.
WILLOW: What happened?
BUFFY: I saw a dummy. It gave me the wig. There really wasn't a story there. (Ep. 1.09, "The Puppet Show")

THE MASTER: You're dead!
BUFFY: I may be dead, but I'm still pretty. Which is more than I can say for you.
THE MASTER: You were destined to die! It was written!
BUFFY: What can I say? I flunked the written. (Ep. 1.12, "Prophecy Girl")

"Who am I kidding? Dates are things normal girls have. Girls who have time to think about nail polish and facials. You know what I think about? Ambush tactics. Beheading. Not exactly the stuff dreams are made of." (Ep. 2.06, "Halloween")

BUFFY: You're the one freaky thing in my freaky world that still makes sense to me. I just get messed sometimes. I wish we could be regular kids.
ANGEL: Yeah. I'll never be a kid.
BUFFY: Okay, then a regular kid and her cradle-robbing, creature-of-the-night boyfriend. (Ep. 2.09, "What's My Line, Part 1")

BUFFY: (to Kendra, fighting another vamp) Switch!
SPIKE: I'd rather be fightin' you anyway.
BUFFY: Mutual. (Ep. 2.10, "What's My Line, Part 2")

"Well, it doesn't matter anyway. I mean, when in the real world am I ever gonna need chemistry ... or history ... or math ... or the English language?" (Ep. 2.21, "Becoming, Part 1")

GILES: The, um, vampires that attacked you, can you furnish me with some details that might help me trace their lineage? I mean, ancient or-or-or modern dress. Amulets, cultish tattoos...
BUFFY: Uh, no tats. Crappy dressers. And, uh... Oh, the one that nearly bit me mentioned something about kissing toast. He lived for kissing toast.
GILES: You mean 'Kakistos'?
BUFFY: Maybe it was taquitos. Maybe he lived for taquitos. What?
GILES: Kakistos. (Ep. 3.03, "Faith, Hope, and Trick")

(to Giles and Willow) "When I killed him, Angel was cured. (to Willow) Your spell worked at the last minute, Will. I was about to take him out, and, um ... something went through him ... and he was Angel again. He-he didn't remember anything that he'd done. He just held me. Um, but i-it was ... it was too late, and I, I had to. So I, I told him that I loved him ... and I kissed him ... and I killed him. (Ep. 3.03, "Faith, Hope, and Trick")

(to Angel) "You're weak. Everybody is. Everybody fails. Maybe this evil did bring you back, but if it did, it's because it needs you. And that means that you can hurt it. Angel, you have the power to do real good, to make amends. But if you die now, then all that you ever were was a monster. ... Strong is fighting! It's hard, and it's painful, and it's every day." (Ep. 3.10, "Amends")

WESLEY: The Council's orders are to concentrate on...
BUFFY: Orders? I don't think I'm gonna be taking any more orders. Not from you, not from them.
WESLEY: You can't turn your back on the Council.
BUFFY: They're in England. I don't think they can tell which way my back is facing.
WESLEY: Giles, talk to her.
GILES: (walks to Buffy's side) I've nothing to say right now.
BUFFY: Wesley, go back to your Council and tell them, until the next Slayer comes along, they can close up shop. I'm not working for them anymore. (Ep. 3.21, "Graduation, Part 1")

BUFFY: Cool, you guys can do the brain thing. I'm gonna go to class.
OZ: Which could also be construed as the brain thing.
BUFFY: Not when you're minoring in 'Napping 101.' (Ep. 4.02, "Living Conditions")

"I'm starting to feel like there is a pattern here. — Open your heart to someone, and he bails on you. Maybe it's easier to just not let anyone in." (Ep. 4.04, "Fear Itself")

BUFFY: There is no problem that cannot be solved with chocolate.
WILLOW: I think I'm going to barf.
BUFFY: Except that. (Ep. 4.04, "Fear Itself")

"I like my evil like I like my men — evil. You know, straight up ... black hat ... tied to the train tracks ... 'Soon my electro-ray will destroy Metropolis' bad." (Ep. 4.08, "Pangs")

"But I can't help thinking — isn't [pain] where the fire comes from? Can a nice, safe relationship be that intense? I know it's nuts, but ... part of me believes that real love and passion have to go hand in hand with pain and fighting. (A vampire jumps out, and Buffy stakes him casually.) I wonder where I get that from." (Ep. 4.09, "Something Blue")

BUFFY: You sounded like Mr. Initiative. Demons bad, people good.
RILEY: Something wrong with that theorem?
BUFFY: There's different degrees of—
RILEY: Evil?
BUFFY: It's just ... different with different demons. There are creatures — vampires, for example — that aren't evil at all.
RILEY: Name one. (Ep. 4.19, "New Moon Rising")

BUFFY: I have to do these things, 'cause, 'cause when I stop, then she's really gone. And I'm trying, Dawn, I am really trying to take care of things. But I don't even know what I'm doing! Mom always knew.
DAWN: Nobody's asking you to be mom.
BUFFY: Well who's gonna be if I'm not? Huh, Dawn? Have you even thought about that? Who's gonna make things better? Who's gonna take care of us?
DAWN: Buffy...
BUFFY: I didn't mean to push you away, I didn't. I just, I couldn't let you see me ... Oh god, Dawny. I don't know what we're gonna do. I'm scared! (Ep. 5.17, "Forever")

(to Spike) "I was happy. Wherever I ... was ... I was happy. At peace. I knew that everyone I cared about was all right. I knew it. Time ... didn't mean anything ... nothing had form ... but I was still me, you know? And I was warm ... and I was loved ... and I was finished. Complete. I don't understand about theology or dimensions or ... any of it, really ... but I think I was in heaven. (pause) And now I'm not. I was torn out of there. Pulled out ... by my friends. Everything here is ... hard, and bright, and violent. Everything I feel, everything I touch ... this is Hell. Just getting through the next moment, and the one after that ... (softly) knowing what I've lost... (she gets up, walks towards the sunlight, pauses, not looking back) They can never know. Never." (Ep. 6.03, "After Life")

(talking to herself while on patrol) "Don't think about the evil blood-sucking fiend. Focus on anything but the evil blood-sucking fiend." (Ep. 6.13, "Dead Things")

BUFFY: I didn't come back wrong?
TARA: No, you're the same Buffy. With a deep tropical cellular tan.
BUFFY: You must have missed something. Will you check again?
TARA: (concerned) Buffy, I-I promise, there's nothing wrong with you.
BUFFY: There has to be! This just can't be me, it isn't me. (starting to cry) Why do I feel like this? Why do I let Spike do those things to me?
TARA: You mean hit you? (gets it) Oh. Oh, huh. Really.
BUFFY: He's everything I hate. He's everything that ... I'm supposed to be against. But the only time that I ever feel anything is when ... Don't tell anyone, please.
TARA: I won't.
BUFFY: (crying) The way they would look at me ... I just couldn't...
TARA: I won't tell anyone. I wouldn't do that.
BUFFY: (whispers) Why can't I stop? Why do I keep letting him in?
TARA: Do you love him? I-It's okay if you do. He's done a lot of good, and, and he does love you. A-and Buffy, it's okay if you don't. You're going through a really hard time, and you're...
BUFFY: What? Using him? What's okay about that?
TARA: It's not that simple.
BUFFY: It is! It's wrong. I'm wrong. Tell me that I'm wrong, please ... Please don't forgive me, please ... (sobbing) Please don't ... Please don't forgive me... (Ep. 6.13, "Dead Things")

BUFFY: It's over.
SPIKE: (smiling, moving closer to her) I've memorized this tune, luv. Think I have the sheet music. Doesn't change what you want.
BUFFY: I know that. (pauses) I do want you. (Spike looks surprised) Being with you ... makes things ... simpler. For a little while.
SPIKE: I don't call five hours straight a little while.
BUFFY: (interrupting abruptly) I'm using you.
(He stares at her.)
BUFFY: I can't love you. I'm just ... being weak, and selfish ...
SPIKE (moving even closer, interrupting rather desperately): Really not complaining here.
BUFFY: ... and it's killing me. (Spike stops, frowns) I have to be strong about this. (He continues staring at her) I'm sorry ... William. (Ep. 6.15, "As You Were")

(to Dawn) "Things have really sucked lately, but that's all gonna change — and I want to be there when it does. I want to see my friends happy again. I want to see you grow up. The woman you're gonna become ... Because she's gonna be beautiful. And she's gonna be powerful. I got it so wrong. I don't want to protect you from the world — I want to show it to you. There's so much that I wanna to show you." (Ep. 6.22, "Grave")

"The last guy I was with [Spike] ... it got really ... I behaved like a monster, treated him like ... And, at the same time, I let him completely take me over, do things to me that ..."
...
"The joke is ... he loved me ... I mean — in his own sick, soulless way — he really did care for me. But I didn't want to be loved. ... I have all this power. I didn't ask for it ... I don't deserve it. It's like I wanted to be punished. I wanted to hurt like I thought I deserved. I sorta think ... ... I feel like I'm worse than anyone. Honestly, I'm beneath them. My friends, my boyfriend ... I feel like I'm not worthy of their love. Because even though they love me, it doesn't mean anything, because their opinions don't matter. They don't know. They haven't been through what I've been through. They're not the Slayer ... I am. Sometimes I feel — this is awful — I feel like I'm better than them ... superior." (Ep. 7.07, "Conversations With Dead People")

AMANDA: Is it weird? We're mean to each other ... and we like each other.
BUFFY: Well, it depends. Sometimes, that's how people relate ... being mean to each other. Even mortal enemies. Then, with the ... and that leads to no good. Absolutely no good. And much confusion. And then it's over. Absolutely, seriously, definitely over! And that's confusing, too — the "over" part — which it is ... over. (Ep. 7.12, "Potential")