I've been looking at a fair number of websites recently — checking out their episode recaps, among other things — and I've been shocked at the number of them that describe Spike's actions at the end of Season 6 as motivated by a desire to get the chip out of his brain. This surprises me for two reasons: (1) I didn't consider Spike's motivations that clear, when I watched the episodes, and (2) Joss Whedon has stated publicly that Spike went to Africa with the specific intention of recovering his soul ... that the writers only wanted us to think otherwise. Well, they succeeded.

Perhaps too well.

I say this because I'm a fairly careful viewer, and they had me fooled. I was pretty sure that Spike was trying to get the chip out. But, I have to admit, I wasn't certain. I noticed, from the very start, that the writers were being very coy with Spike's lines. He said things like:

Get nice and comfy, Slayer. I'll be back. And when I do ... things are gonna change. (Ep. 6.19, "Seeing Red")

and

I'll take anything you can throw at me ... if it'll get me what I need to take care of the Slayer. Give her what's coming to her. (Ep. 6.22, "Grave")

Both of these quotes are suspiciously vague, leaving the viewer in some doubt about exactly what sort of "change" is coming, and what it is that Spike thinks Buffy deserves. Is it some sort of vengeance? Or is it a Spike she could potentially trust and love? Some viewers — as evidenced by those episode recaps I mentioned — seem absolutely convinced that they know the answer ... and it's different from the writers' apparent intentions.

If I hadn't read Joss's statement in several reliable places, I'd still have doubts about Spike's intentions in going to Africa. I'd still think he probably intended to get the chip out. And, looking back, I can see how they fooled me ... through a combination of situational set-up, dialogue references to the chip, James Marsters' facial expressions, and repeated use of the words "Slayer" and "bitch" in reference to Buffy.

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Hating Angel

The first tool the writers used to fool us was the long-term situational set-up of Spike's feelings about Angel. They have repeatedly shown us Spike's mocking disdain for Angel ... and particularly for Angel's soul and the brooding and do-gooding it seems to bring with it. After years of this set-up, the viewers were unlikely to assume that Spike would try to get his soul back.

On the other hand, since falling in love with Buffy, Spike has occasionally shown a vague jealousy of Angel and the ease with which he is assumed to be "good," simply because he has a soul. For example, in the episode "Crush" (Ep. 5.14), Buffy and Spike have the following conversation:

SPIKE: You can't deny it. There's something between us.
BUFFY: Loathing. Disgust.
SPIKE: Heat. Desire.
BUFFY: Please! Spike, you're a vampire.
SPIKE: Angel was a vampire.
BUFFY: Angel was good!
SPIKE: And I can be, too. I've changed, Buffy.
BUFFY: What, that chip in your head? That's not change. Tha-that's just ... holding you back. You're like a serial killer in prison!
SPIKE: Women marry 'em all the time!
BUFFY: (makes a disgusted noise)
SPIKE: But I'm not ... like that. Something's happening to me. I can't stop thinking about you. ... And if that means turning my back on the whole evil thing ...
BUFFY: You don't know what you mean! You don't know what feelings are!

Though in the final episodes of Season 6 Buffy finally seemed to accept that Spike did have feelings for her, she insisted that she could never trust him enough to love him in return. By mentioning Angel frequently when Buffy explained why she had no feelings for him, Spike made apparent his own obsession with what made Angel different ... acceptable ... lovable.

And, in the final analysis, the only significant thing that distinguished Angel from Spike was a soul. So, really, it isn't all that surprising that he finally broke down and went in search of one.

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Hating The Chip

Though both Dawn and Spike considered the chip as a moral equivalent of Angel's soul, Buffy felt differently ... as she made clear to Spike at every opportunity. She didn't view Angel-with-a-soul as a "serial killer in prison," even though without a soul he was far more vicious than Spike without his chip. Really, with the chip, Spike got the worst of both worlds. He couldn't hunt anymore ... he couldn't be "the Big Bad" ... but in Buffy's eyes he couldn't be truly good, either. She mocked him mercilessly about the fact that he was no longer scary, but would not allow him to leave his "evilness" behind. For example, when Spike offered to help Buffy solve the case of the frozen museum guard in "Smashed" (Ep. 6.09), Buffy ended up hitting him and insisting, "You're not a man. You're a thing. ... An evil, disgusting, thing."

Is it any wonder that Spike hated the chip? The writers played this up in the final episodes with repeated references:

Spike: Why do I feel this way?
Clem (shrugging): Love's a funny thing.
Spike: Is that what this is? I can feel it. Squirming in my head.
Clem: Love?
Spike: The chip. Gnawing bits and chunks. ... You know, everything always used to be so clear. Slayer. Vampire. Vampire kills Slayer, sucks her dry, picks his teeth with her bones. It's always been that way. I've tasted the life of two Slayers. But with Buffy... It isn't supposed to be this way. It's the chip. Steel and wires and silicon. It won't let me be a monster. And I can't be a man. I'm nothing. (Ep. 6.19, "Seeing Red")

Shaman: Something about a woman. The slayer ...
Spike: Bitch thinks she's better than me. Ever since I got this bleeding chip in my head, things ain't been right. Everything's gone to hell ...
Shaman: And you want to return. To your former self.
Spike: Yeah. (Shaman laughs) What?
Shaman: Look what she's reduced you to!
Spike (upset): It's this bloody chip ... (Ep. 6.20, "Villains")

Clever, clever Buffy writers! Throwing us off the scent by letting Spike ramble on and on about the chip! Yes, Spike hates the chip. But that isn't what's really bothering him in these scenes. What's really bothering him is his love for Buffy, her repeated rejection of him, his near-rape of her, and his tumultuous emotions about that near-rape. The chip is merely a side issue that allows Spike to dodge the issues that come closer to his heart. In the above quote from "Seeing Red," Spike talks about the chip because he desperately needs someone or something to blame for the emotions he's feeling about nearly raping Buffy. And in the quote from "Villains," Spike objects to the idea that Buffy has somehow belittled him (though she tried often enough) ... he insists that the trouble started with the chip. And indeed it did. But it led to much larger and more important things ... which scare Spike enough that he would rather not talk about them. Especially with glowy-eyed strangers.

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Hating To Show Weakness

Another thing that helped to fool me into thinking Spike was trying to get his chip removed was the harshness of Spike's facial expressions when he spoke about Buffy in the final few episodes of the season, beginning at the end of "Seeing Red" (Ep. 6.19), when he left Sunnydale on his motorcycle.

I'd forgotten to take two things into account here, though. (1) First, the Buffy writers don't tell their actors ahead of time where the plots are going ... and, as a result, James Marsters was acting these scenes somewhat in the dark, so to speak. Marsters himself didn't realize —until he heard Joss Whedon say it publicly — that Spike had intended to recover his soul.

(2) The second thing I didn't take into account is that Spike's facial expressions are often deceiving. In particular, he frequently looks angry when his true emotion is actually determination, frustration, or hurt. For example, in "Crush," Spike is put in the situation of having to choose between his two greatest loves: Drusilla and Buffy. When attempting to prove his love for Buffy, his facial expressions look much like those in the final episodes of Season 6. As another example, in "Smashed" (Ep. 6.09), when Spike fights with Buffy before they make love for the first time, his expressions often look extremely forboding. In both of these scenes, Spike's facial expression appears to indicate anger, but in truth he is actually feeling a combination of intense love, frustration, and determination.

When Spike feels especially vulnerable, he's most likely to look especially dangerous. He does not like to admit weakness, even in his facial expressions. He often lets his vulnerability show, but it is usually only when he doesn't realize he's giving himself away.

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"Hating" Buffy

But the thing that probably went the furthest in misleading me about Spike's (and the Buffy writers') intentions was his repeated and vehement usage of the word "bitch" in reference to Buffy in the final few episodes of the season. When talking to the glow-eyed shaman in "Villains," for example, Spike refers to Buffy by saying, "Bitch thinks she's better than me," and, "Bitch is gonna see a change."

But, again, I'd forgotten to take Spike's past behavior into account. Just as Spike tends to look angry when he's actually hurt or frustrated, he also tends to talk pretty darn tough in the same situations. In "Lovers Walk" (Ep. 3.08), for example, a violently grieving Spike rants about his lost Drusilla:

YOU ... STUPID ... WORTHLESS ... BITCH! Look what you've done to me.

In "Crush" (Ep. 5.14), a frustrated Spike vents to Drusilla and Buffy:

Aaaarrrggghh! Gaaagggghhhhhh! What the bleeding hell is wrong with you bloody women? What the hell does it take? Why do you bitches torture me?

And, again, in "Wrecked" (Ep. 6.10), Spike says:

The next time you come crawling — if you don't stop being such a bitch — maybe I will bite you.

All three of these scenes have something in common: in all three of them, Spike is frustrated by the unrequitedness of his love. He's feeling rejected, hurt, and maybe a bit defensive about his own feelings. And in all three of them, he refers to his beloved as a "bitch."

When analyzing a character's behavior and dialogue as an indicator of his intentions, one must pay attentioin to what that same behavior and dialogue has indicated in the past. If Giles were to refer to a woman as a "bitch," it would mean something very different. But in the past when Spike has referred to a woman as a "bitch," it has usually meant that he's hurting.

Spike also refers to Buffy as "Slayer" in the final few episodes of the season. In retrospect, I view this as similar to his repeated references to the chip. I see them both as ways of distancing himself from the painful emotions just beneath the surface, the painful memories of Buffy's struggles and cries as he nearly forced himself on her.

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Hating Himself

Because it is truly his near-rape of Buffy that is at the center of Spike's emotional universe of the final few episodes of Season 6. Not the chip. Not a desire to be evil. It is regret ... guilt ... horror at the evil he nearly committed.

Do not forget that Spike had an opportunity to return to his evil ways in "Crush," when Drusilla returned for him. Spike chose instead to stay, to be near Buffy. Also, when Spike found out that Buffy no longer activated his chip (in "Smashed"), his response was, "Nothing wrong with me. Something wrong with her." He didn't say, "Nothing wrong with the chip" ... he said, "Nothing wrong with me." For all his protestations, Spike has grown accustomed to life with the chip. Though he postures and swaggers and talks a good game, Spike has shown no real desire to return to evil in years. But what he has shown — frequently, repeatedly, fervently — is a desire to be permitted to be good. To be accepted. To be worthy of Buffy's love.

Spike finally truly doubted his own worthiness of Buffy's love after their scene in the bathroom in "Seeing Red." Returning to his crypt, Spike was haunted by the memory of Buffy's face and voice as she fought him off. In an anguished voice, with an anguished facial expression, Spike asks himself, "What have I done?" Then he pauses in thought and confusion. "Why didn't I do it?" he asks himself. He is still a vampire, after all. The chip has not changed his very nature ... he is only "a serial killer in prison." Why didn't he do it? And why is it haunting him afterward? Why does the very thought of hurting Buffy cause him such pain? Why does this all hurt so much?

"What has she done to me?" Spike asks. It's a rhetorical question, but one that many an unrequited lover has asked. Spike knows that Buffy hasn't done anything to him. Neither has the chip. Something has happened to him, but it's no one's fault. He has changed, but there isn't really anyone specifically to blame. That's a scary situation, because if you don't know how and why something happened, then you have no control over it. If you don't know whose fault it is, then who do you beat up to get your vengeance? Spike (like Buffy) prefers to be able to solve his problems by fighting it out. But there's no one to fight in this situation, except himself.

In an agony of remorse, frustration, self-hatred, and confusion, Spike can barely think straight. But then Clem says the magic words:

Clem: Hey. Come on now, Mr. Negative. You never know what's just around the corner. Things change.
Spike: They do. (pause ... Spike looks thoughtful, then determined) If you make them. (Ep. 6.19, "Seeing Red")

Aha! Yes, Spike can do something about this problem. He can make sure that nothing like this ever happens again. He can try to prevent himself from hurting Buffy again ... by getting his soul back. This will solve his two largest problems: (1) his fear of hurting Buffy again and (2) his unworthiness of Buffy's love. Getting the chip out would not solve these problems in the slightest. So why would he want to do that? What would he gain, by removing the chip? Especially since he could already hurt Buffy physically if he wanted to ... he's already proven that, only moments before, to his own horror.

No, it would make no sense for Spike to get the chip out at this point. I don't know why I didn't see it when I was watching the episode, but it seems clear in retrospect. Unfortunately, the writers did such a great job of clouding the issue that they've left their viewers pretty darn confused.

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Where Do We Go From Here?

So Joss Whedon and Steven S. DeKnight and Marti Noxon and Doug Petrie and David Fury have left their viewers in a very foggy place, where Spike is concerned. What are they going to do about that when Season 7 starts?

Well, the way I see it, they've got several different options. Knowing them, they won't show their entire hand all at once ... they'll make us wait, and give us only a bit of information at a time. I see a few potential directions for things to go in, but I don't work for Mutant Enemy. Here's what stuff we do know, and what questions immediately arise in my own mind:

• Joss has denied repeatedly that Spike will turn human, so this seems extremely unlikely.
• Unlike Angel, Spike definitely seems to roll with the times ... so it seems unlikely that he will go back to being the same wimpy William he was when he was human.
• Joss has denied repeatedly that Spike will "act like Angel" ... he claims that we will see something completely new. (Thank goodness! We've already had one Angel, and that was interesting, but we don't need to do it twice. Spike and Angel are two very different characters, so it stands to reason that their plot arcs would also be very different.)
• This season significantly grayed the Buffyverse, showing that humans could behave at least as badly as demons, that they could be at least as evil, and cause at least as much pain and destruction. So what does this mean about having a soul? Could Spike be just as "evil" with a soul as he was without? I think so. And that could be very interesting to watch.
• Spike was already feeling guilt and pain about his near-rape of Buffy before he got his soul back. How's he going to feel after? And how will the return of his soul impact his love for Buffy?
• Will Spike immediately return to Sunnydale? I somehow doubt it, personally. I would imagine that Spike would have a lot of issues to work through after the return of his soul, before he was ready to face Buffy again.

But what do I know? I'm not nearly as intelligent and creative as Joss Whedon, so he'll probably come up with something completely different and more unique than I could ever imagine. Maybe his writers don't even know yet! But, whatever it is, I'm sure it'll be worth the wait ... and I, for one, am looking forward to seeing it! I can't wait until September 24th!

— Kimberly A, 31 July 2002