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Angst Fan Fiction

This page includes links to some fics which contain material suitable for mature readers only (i.e., over 17 years of age). Please note the rating of each story, and enter at your own risk and your own responsibility.

Alane S. Megna, A Hill of Beans
Summary: This alternative post-"The Gift" scenario has Spike pondering the idea of romantic tragedy and sacrifice. Alane writes a sweet, sad Spike who appeals to me. (Hard to describe ... sort of angsty fluff)
Rating: PG
Length: Approximately 2600-word vignette
Spoilers: Through Ep. 5.22, "The Gift"

Amy, After the Dance
Summary: In this fic, Amy has written a stunningly beautiful Spike POV after his ensouled return to Sunnydale ... one of the best stories I've read in a very very long time. I wept much of the time that I was reading it ... full on sobbing. It's simply gorgeous. (Romantic, angsty drama)
Note: See also the sequel, "Spinning"
Thanks: To "The Other Amy," who recommended this fic to me, and introduced me to Amy's lovely work
Rating: PG-13/R
Length: Approximately 3,900-word short story
Spoilers: Through Ep. 6.22, "Grave"

Amy, After Midnight
Summary: Another lovely Spike introspective by Amy, who just excels at this particular mini-genre. This is set sometime mid-Season 6, when Spike and Buffy are still sexually involved. Spike thinks about his relationship with her. (Angst)
Rating: R
Length: Approximately 1600-word vignette
Spoilers: Through mid-Season 6
Amy, Spinning
Summary: A Buffy POV sequel to Amy's lovely "After the Dance," exploring the possible emotional effects of Spike's ensouled return to Sunnydale. (Romantic, angsty drama)
Note: Sequel to "After The Dance"
Rating: R
Length: Approximately 5,800-word short story
Spoilers: Through Ep. 6.22, "Grave"

Avalon, Love Is Blind
Summary: Sometime during Season 5, Buffy is permanently blinded and becomes suicidal, and it seems that Spike is the only one who can help her. This story is almost universally acknowledged as one of the finest Spike/Buffy fan-fiction stories ever written, and I completely agree. In fact, this was the story that got me hooked on fan fiction. (Angsty romance, but with some humor)
Rating:
NC-17 for one scene of graphic sexuality.
Length: 25 sections, consisting of approximately 45,000 words
Spoilers: Through Ep.5.09, "Listening to Fear"

bubonicplague1348, Interred Remains
Summary: A very dark perspective on the Spike/Buffy aftermath of "Grave." This is beautiful, wonderful, searing, biting, powerful, intense writing. Throughout the story, the stream-of-consciousness interweaving of past and present in Buffy's mind is phenomenally well done, and — while I never thought of Buffy as having this sort of vocabulary — the emotions communicated ring so very very true. As a rule, I am not archiving unfinished fics here, but I love this one so much that I couldn't resist, and this first chapter works fairly well on its own. (Dramatic angst, with lots of stream-of-consciousness flashback and internal monologue)
Rating:
NC-17
Length: Work In Progress (thus far, about 3,000 words)
Spoilers: Through Ep. 6.22, "Grave"

Fallowdoe, Agnus Dei
Summary: This evocative, haunting, heart-breakingly beautiful ficlet explores the immediate emotional aftermath of Buffy's death, as the Scoobies gather to bury her in the night. (Angst)
Rating: G
Length: Approximately 900-word vignette
Spoilers: Through Ep. 5.22, "The Gift"

Herself, Bittersweets
Summary: In this multiple-award-winning novel-length series, Herself intimately examines the emotional complexities of Spike, Buffy, and their relationship ... the good and the bad, the joyful and the destructive ... the sex, the love, the fear, and the hate. Within this series, Herself creates a detailed, intimate world of emotional tangles. Not for the weak of heart, but most definitely worth the journey! (Romantic, angsty, joyful drama)
Rating:
NC-17 for graphic sexuality and violence. This story also contains minor elements of slash and sado-masochism, which may bother some readers.
Length: Novel-length series, consisting of 11 separate stories intended to be read in sequence as follows:

Manhattan Nocturne (10,100 words)
All Wrong (3,800 words)
Near Enough (1,400 words)
Listening to Garnetta (3,300 words)
Who Am I? (7,900 words)
Forgive Me (16,000 words)
What's It To Be? (30,400 words)
Spike, or The Ambiguities (14,100 words)
Mr Grieves and the Fallen Woman (20,900 words)
The Littler Bit (32,000 words)
All Merry and Bright (4,400 words)
Spoilers: Through Ep. 6.10, "Wrecked"
Herself, Lovingkindness
Summary: What is love? Must it be "deserved"? What are its boundaries? What are its rewards and costs? What responsibilities does it create, in both the lover and the beloved? Herself explores these questions and more in this gorgeous, evocative sequel to What She Deserves. This time around, the story focuses primarily on Spike and his relationship with a third character, while Buffy is somewhat peripheral, though still crucial. At heart, the fic is still really about Spike's feelings for Buffy ... it's just also much much bigger than that. I think I may adore this sequel even more than the phenomenally wonderful original fic! (Angsty angst angst angst)
Rating:
NC-17 for disturbing sexuality. This story contains quite a bit of slash, which may bother some readers.
Length: Approximately 51,500-word short story
Spoilers: Through Ep. 6.22, "Grave"

Herself, What She Deserves
Summary: Oh. My. God. What can I possibly say about this story? It's basically Herself's take on ensouled Spike, and it's painful. One of the most darkly, disturbingly, complexly intimate stories I've ever read. The emotions in this story are some of the most intense I've ever seen expressed in a fanfic. In the end, this story is about forgiveness and redemption. I cried a lot. A lot. (Angsty angst angst angst)
Note: Read also the wonderful sequel, Lovingkindness
Rating: NC-17 for disturbing sexuality. This story contains elements of slash and sado-masochism, which may bother some readers.
Length: Approximately 30,000-word short story
Spoilers: Through Ep. 6.22, "Grave"

Isabelle, The Unknown Citizen
Summary: Spike is completely down-and-out ... but why? It's basically romantic angst, from Spike's point of view. This is a beautiful, beautiful story that makes my heart hurt. Just writing this review makes me want to go read it again ... it's that good. Read it. Read it now. You won't be sorry. (Angst)
Rating: R
Length: Approximately 6000-word short story
Spoilers: Vague for Season 6

Kalima, Daemons Luminati
Summary: Author's summary: "Can a vampire be dragged, kicking and screaming, into the ligh? We'll see. Spike's a complicated guy, isn't he?" This is a fabulous fic with simply stunning characterization of Spike, Buffy, and Tara. (I'm particularly partial to how Kalima uses Tara in this story.) Kalima writes a mean plot! One quote from the story, just to give you a taste: "In Sunnydale's alleys worlds met, touched, moved through or passed each other by. Sometimes it hurt. Sometimes you died. In these alleys you traversed one state of being to another." (Angsty drama)
Rating: R/
NC-17
Length: Approximately 37,500-word novella
Spoilers: Through Ep. 6.15, "As You Were"

Kantayra, Last Night
Summary: You want proof that Kantayra can write widely different types of fics? Well, after reading "Forbidden," give this one a try ... but only if you can deal with a frustrated response to the nightmare that was Season 6. What would happen if Buffy's pattern of using Spike sexually had continued, unchecked? This is not a pretty picture of Buffy ... this is Abusive!Buffy on steroids. But I find this well-written short fic strangely cathartic. (Angst)
Rating:
NC-17 for graphic (and disturbing) sexuality.
Length: Approximately 2000-word vignette
Spoilers: General for Season 6

Kimberly, Grounded in Reality
Summary: In the days immediately following Buffy's death at the end of Season Five, Spike grieves alone. (Sad, angsty internal monologue)
Rating: PG-13 for language and violent imagery
Length: Approximately 1400-word short story
Spoilers: Everything through the end of Season 5
Kimberly, Sunlight and Shadow
Summary: Post S6 "Dead Things," Buffy realizes that she needs both the darkness and the light, but she and Spike both have some growing up to do. (Angsty romantic drama)
Rating: R for language, non-explicit sex, and adult themes
Length: 11 chapters, consisting of approximately 20,000 words
Spoilers: Everything through Season 6 "Dead Things"

Lara Dean-Brierley, For the Sleepwalkers
Summary: The author's summary: "A visit in the darkness, the surrender of sight, the gift of a lie. Buffy/Spike, twisted as always." This vignette deals with the aftermath of "Seeing Red" ... how will Buffy and Spike deal with the attempted rape? I find this fic simply heart-breakingly, breath-takingly beautiful and sad. (Angst)
Rating:
NC-17 for graphic sexuality and issues of rape.
Length: Approximately 2200-word vignette
Spoilers: Through Ep. 6.22, "Grave"

Lara Dean-Brierley, Masks
Summary: The author's summary: "What you show the world. What you tell the world. And what you don't." This story is sort of a series of five brief, interrelated Spike POV vignettes which weave a dense tapestry of emotion and imagery. Pay attention to the fairy tale references, because they're my favorite element of this fic. In fact, this may very well be my favorite fic archived at this site ... I love it that much. (Romantic angst)
Rating:
NC-17 for sexuality
Length: Approximately 1400-word vignette series
Spoilers: Through Ep. 6.22, "Grave"

Nocte, Sacred Flame
Summary: The author's summary is as follows: "Future Fic. William the Bloody returns to Sunnydale after an extended absence (seventy five years) to find something crucial. He finds things very different. The Hellmouth is more deadly than ever and the denizens of Sunnydale do not welcome new arrivals. Set after the events of S6 up to Normal Again but further into the future." This is an achingly gorgeous, very angsty story by a new author, and I can't recommend it highly enough. (Angsty drama)
Rating:
NC-17
Length: 16 chapters, consisting of approximately 27,000 words
Spoilers: Through Ep. 6.16, "Hell's Bells"

Rabid, Cuore Della Notte
Summary: Wow. This is probably the best BTVS fanfic plot I've ever read. It took me a little while to get into it, but then ... pow! This is Rabid's fascinating imagining of an end to the series, revolving around the end of the Slayer, and the role Spike plays in the process. This one isn't for those of you who like Spike fluffy and sweet ... his demon plays a large part in the story. But this fic has something for everyone: angst, drama, action, adventure, romance, sex, wicked villains, great fight scenes, tension, horror, and incredible plot.
Rating: NC-17
Length: 9 chapters, consisting of approximately 36,000-words
Spoilers: Through Ep. 5.22, "The Gift"
Rabid, Facing the Mirrors
Summary: Spike and Buffy face Riley Finn's return, Rabid-style! And that means ... angst and horror and action, folks. In this story, Rabid has created one of the best invented villains I've seen in any BTVS fanfic ... *shudder*. Still gives me the creeps. I can't believe this story isn't better-known, because it's amazing. Great plot (one of Rabid's specialties), great action, great sex, great romance, plus ... bonus! Riley Finn as we non-Riley-lovers have always wanted to see him! (Sexy, romantic, angsty, horror-y, scary action drama)
Rating: NC-17
Length: 4 chapters, consisting of approximately 40,300-words
Spoilers: Through Ep. 6.10, "Wrecked"
Rabid, Still Life with Melon and Honey
Summary: Rabid's imagined segueway between the vicious beating in "Dead Things" and Spike's self-invitation to Buffy's party in "Older and Far Away." (Angsty, sexy drama)
Rating: NC-17
Length: Approximately 6,000-word short story
Spoilers: Through Ep. 6.13, "Dead Things"

Rainyday, Driving
Summary: This truly beautiful angst ficlet takes a fascinating peak into Spike's mind in the aftermath of the attempted rape in "Seeing Red." See also "Haunted" by the same author, which gives Buffy's POV during the same approximate timeframe. (Angsty internal monologue)
Rating: PG-13
Length: Approximately 900-word vignette
Spoilers: Through Ep. 6.20, "Seeing Red"

Rainyday, Haunted
Summary: This truly beautiful angst ficlet takes a fascinating peak into Buffy's mind in the aftermath of the attempted rape in "Seeing Red." See also "Driving" by the same author, which gives Spike's POV during the same approximate timeframe. (Angsty internal monologue)
Rating: PG-13
Length: Approximately 1100-word vignette
Spoilers: Through Ep. 6.20, "Seeing Red"

Treacle-Antlers, All That's Left To You
Summary: Willow and Spike share a tender moment of parting and remembrance. (Hard to describe. Sort of fluffy angst? It made me cry. Whenever a fic makes me cry, I immediately write and ask permission to archive it. *g*)
Rating: G
Length: Approximately 2900-word vignette
Spoilers: Through Ep. 6.22, "Grave"

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